Blend it all and What do you Get

Sometimes becoming a parent doesn't always happen in the most ideal way. Divorce happens quite frequently these days and remarriages happen which can be a great thing if you know how to make a good transition.

MORE VIDEOS!!

These are from Dr. Popkins as well but it's about becoming a remarried family but it also applies to those adoptive parents.

"What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced in your stepfamily?"
"Emotional Baggage"

• Take 1
• Take 2       

"Adjusting Expectations"

I really liked the emotional baggage part because it starts to explain just how complex things really start to become.

I come from a blended family and I remember when my step-dad became apart of our family and it really kind of threw things off balance for a bit. I was fine with him other than I couldn't sleep with my mom as much as I used too but I realize now how unhealthy our super bonds were. My stepdad had some fears becoming a father and never really felt like we were his I suppose and didn't want to over step my dad (maybe that's why they call it step dad). So we had a relationship but it wasn't really like I could hug him or go to him for things, I just sort of used him at times to get what I wanted. 

a while later they took in my dads niece and recently adopted her as their own. He was a bit more practiced at this point and more comfortable with everything so he was able to develop a really good relationship with her. possible because both of her parents have passed a way by this point. 

After my mission I found it really touching that he was actually was more loving and expressive of his feelings. He apologized for not playing a bigger part and not being able to get close to me like I really could have used. 

In class we watched a music video about a step-dad and it made me cry thinking about my step dad and just my situation in general and how I didn't really ever feel like that. It is a really good video though. 

 

Parenting

I learn best from visuals and hands on things and this week I watched some amazing videos about parenting. I am excited about all the things that I learned this week. This job I think is one of the hardest things that anyone will ever do in this life and there for one of the most rewarding as well.
Creation is just one of the most amazing things!! Here are the wonderful videos my teacher provided.

Session 1: The Active Parent 
Session 2: Winning Cooperation
Session 3: Responsibility and Discipline 
Session 4: Building Courage, Redirecting Misbehavior

It's all about fulfilling the child's needs and helping them succeed in life.
One thing I though was of great value when needing the help of a child.

First ask them with a polite request.. This will help them feel respected and feel of the confidence that you have in them
If they don't respond to that than you can do an 'I' statement. Like "I feel taken advantage of when I have to clean up after you because I am doing more than my share of the work. I would like you to pick up your things and take them to your room". It says it much better in the videos but basically using "I feel.. because.. I would like.." This lets them know how you are feel and why and what you would have happen. 

If they don't respond to that then use a firmer statement where it is simple and strait forward. "Pick up these clothes now." It emphasized very strongly not to lecture and go on and on about everything but giving a clear firm statement is best. 

In class we also talked about consequences for actions and giving options with consequences let them help make the boundaries and consequences for going out of bounds. Making sure that it is a logical consequence and that it directly correlates with the broken bound.. not paying their phone bill.. taking the phone away until it is paid. 
Just make sure everyone is clear on everything before something happens again so they know before hand the consequences to their actions before they choose to do it.   

Budgeting the Bucks

I have been learning a lot about finances and outsourcing.

 Outsourcing is when you pay someone to do something for you. 

Dual income house holds feels like there is extra money but when added up sometimes those very house holds could be using money from all the extra expenses that go with it. The more obvious ones are like gas and day care. But people are more prone to buy some food on the way to work or when going home. 

Sometimes it is needed though and having family help out could be very affected. With this in mind I do think it is very beneficial to have a parent stay home and raise the children. 

Budgeting is also really important because so many arguments are about money. 

this is something that I would like to do for my self so that I don't over spend and stay within limits that I have set for my self.

Something else really interesting that we talked about this week.

 "Does a Full-Time Homemaker Swap Her Mind for a Mop?" 

Communication is the Key

Or is is?

No matter what we are doing we are communicating something. We cannot not communicate. So that is not really the key to good relationships but good communication skills will help you go a long way.

There are different types of communication
verbal
tone of voice
nonverbal

There are a lot of times where I have gotten and received  message just from being by someone.

Very little communication comes from the words that are said but more how they are said and where the person is looking or what they are doing that really tell about how they are feeling or what they think.