Fathers and Mothers

The five things to do to fully engage your husband during pregnancy are pretty simple. If wives are able to involve their husbands through the process of everything. The first thing to do is tell your husband you're pregnant! That's maybe a little bit too easy but I would imagine especially with those who are unmarried they feel like they have more of a claim on the baby than the man but by letting them know that they are just as important as the mother. It's also really important that there are regular checkups for the baby and being able to plan around both schedules so that the father may experience the information and what he can do to help out. I also think this is beneficial so the father feels wanted and needed as part of the process. As the baby starts to grow I can’t imagine what that feels like and just being at a distant watching what happens to a women going through this process and being curious I can imagine how much more the father must want to know what is happening to his sweetheart and the baby that is forming. If she is able to express and let him in on how she is feeling, I bet he would feel more sympathy for her and it would bring them closer together. Especially during those times when the baby starts kicking to let the father feel and be a part of that bonding experience. The mother should also develop a good schedule of sleep and diet and having the husband participate would be a great way for both parents to prepare for the baby. 

Dating and the Journey to Eternal Marriage

What does dating mean to you? Isn't it confusing these days how you're trying to explain what's happening between you and someone you are interested in? They might say
"So I saw you the other night with someone how is that going?"
"Oh.. yeah we are just dating."
"How long did have you been together?"
"We're just dating.."

This can be frustrating. Sometimes it goes the other way were they mean dating as a relationship.. "We've been dating for two months now"    So does that mean a relationship or just been going on dates for the last two months??

Well it's important that we take the steps and enjoy the journey to a temple marriage. I think it is especially crucial to not rush the process.. THIS IS ETERNITY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT!!
We need not make it a race.

There is a wonderful article I've been talking up this week to my roommate and friends about this idea of casual dating. I really like this concept that has been kind of lost but it needs to be revived!
 Casual Dating is Alive and Well Take a look at this article about how we can have fun dating and get to know a lot of people. 

I'm someone who really likes the formal part of dating. A guy will ask me out and uses the word DATE with a TIME in mind and a PLAN so that I can be prepared. We discussed the 3 P's to dating Planned, Paid for, and Paired off.

Now I'm also a big believer in simple dates.Paid for doesn't always have to include money.. it just means that the resources are put forth. I also personally believe that if you asked you provide the means to the date. 

Planned means that there has been some thought that has been put in place, not just last minute hang outs.. THIS IS WHAT'S DESTROYING THE DATING WORLD! 

Paired off. This one was interesting to me. It's kind of obvious that dating is paired off but in comparison to the new "Hanging out" we can see a problem.. It's not paired off! This causes competition within groups and that is not good.

Group dates are great! pair off! plan something fun! get out and go out! 

Gender Roles. Yes, They Are Important

I started off this week, before I even started the preparation for my Family 160 class, with reading a post on Facebook that stated "..as part of national coming out day.I am a nonbinary pansexual polyromantic. Yep. Now you know. I guess". This is someone close to me and I want to understand her beliefs and values.

When I first read the post I really didn't know what it was saying because I didn't know what these new terms were and maybe you don't either so... (I'm going to go get them from wikipedia)

Non-binary: a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively masculine or feminine—identities which are thus outside of the gender binary and cisnormativity. 

Pansexual:  is sexual attraction, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of any sex or gender identity. Pansexual people may refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.

Polyromantic: Attracted to many, but not necessarily all sexes in a romantic way, but not necessarily in a sexual way. Not to be confused with panromantic, with pan- meaning "all" and poly- meaning "many" but not necessarily all. Used to disregard the idea that there are two binary genders or sexes. (urban dictionary)

A couple of thoughts on this post was that first.. What the heck is National coming out day. I was very surprised by this because so many people are "coming out" that they need to have a day for that. I think is problematic because if people do decide that they want to declare themselves as gay or lesbian or bisexual or polyromantic, they should be able to do it when their time is right or those who aren't might want to feel apart of something so they will 'come out' too just because it is what everyone is doing now days.

This was a great little personal introduction to my class where we discussed this matter. The most interesting thing was another video. I love visual education things.

Men, Women, and the Sex Difference  

The thing I found most interesting about the video was that a lot of these guy did not have the acceptance or approval of men but yet then why did they become attracted to them?  At first I thought it was maybe because humans are so sex driven that they would subconsciously become sex objects but my teacher explained something that I never knew before. around 11-14 people start getting non-specific arousal. When these boys who were excited about spending time with other boys and feeling their approval they would get aroused and possibly identify that with have same sex attraction. With the other boys who had the approval it was normal to them have fun and be happy hanging with their buds but when they would have contact with the girls it was a new feeling. 

This is really interesting that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has a youth program (as well as other religions and community groups have similar programs) that gives opprotunities to build strong relationships with peers of their same gender. It also is great that they have activities together to help guide and direct the youth to build and respect one another. 

Family Culture

So last week I learned about genograms and I was putting one together for my family. I wasn't too sure about what all the different boundaries meant, but I put in my best effort. While I was doing this my mom was close by and I asked her if it was a good depiction of our family. She was surprised about how I put her in the center of everything. I put three lines connecting us and she said "Apparently, you think we are too close". I said "Well sometimes I think we share a little too much". She expressed that she didn't feel that I overly shared with her but that she  probably shares too much with me.

I found it really interesting how we saw other relationships with the rest  of my family as well. Of course I don't know exactly how others relationships are especially since I am living away from home. My family has always been really close though and I do love that. Today in class there was a portion about how a family can be too close and have a barrier all around them, making it hard for others to come in. I think this is true of my family. I remember the time when my mom remarried and some of my older siblings had a really hard time with it and pushed him away. It has gotten better since then but you can still see a little bit of a rigid barrier around my step-dad.  

Each family can have a culture. Ours was very strong and in class we've talked about some unspoken rules.. one really good example of this was with curfew. It was understood that curfew was 9 but it wouldn't matter if we were a little bit late. One day after Charles (my step-dad) joined the family I got home just a few minutes after 9 and he made a big deal out of it. My mom backed him up for that night and explained to him that was not what we were used to  

What You Do Matters

We are all our own individual with our own set of skills and interest. Sometimes we just go about our life just doing what we do not really thinking how it's going to affect anyone. What each of us do really does affect other people. Especially with the ones who we are closest with. For example, my brother recently decided he wanted to get a job at his wife, not only does this change a balance in his old work environment but puts a new balance in his new work place; not only that, but his relationship with his wife. 

Sometimes there is an unbalance in our lives that we want to come to an equilibrium with in ourselves and the world around us. I found it really interesting about the equality theory that if we balance the cost and rewards of situation. We can see this when someone cooks and someone else will do the dishes but if they don't then we might stop cooking for them.